On the fringe of society

I’ve got a pretty long draft of a post that gets into a bunch of stuff that has been going on since I announced that was moving to Georgia.  For a while, I had mostly changed my mind, but it seems like moving is gaining momentum again.  With Trailer 2.0, I will either be able to move to Georgia and visit Maryland, or live in Maryland and visit Georgia.  Either way, I expect to spend time on the road, working remotely while traveling back-and-forth.  Reading the posts about my “trailer trips” from earlier this summer (here) have re-inspired me.

I watched Into the Wild again last night.  It is an interesting but moody story, a mix of triumph, inspiration, and tragedy.  I pick up something different each time.  One quote from the movie always sticks out to me:

It was inevitable that Chris would break away. And when he did, he would do it with characteristic immoderation.

And so he did.  Dumping a car in the desert, tearing up all forms of ID, and burning all of one’s money is pretty extreme, but the need to break away I get.  No matter what I do, I feel that I’m done with the typical.

My college roommate and I were sitting in the yard in front of our apartment, watching the sun come up after a long night of drinking, listening to Jimmy Buffett, and he asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up.  Without hesitating I said, “Be a hermit that lives in a little wood cabin on top of a mountain road that comes into town once a month for supplies.”  I lost sight of that for a while, but that feeling is back.  That’s just how I am, and finally I accept myself.  I am happier this way.  For a long time, the only thing I wanted was to be “normal”, whatever that is.  But I have grown to fully embrace being strange, weird, abnormal, a self-made outcast on the fringe of society.   For me, being normal is the worst thing I can think of.

This Eddie Vedder version of Society from the Into the Wild soundtrack captures the feeling pretty well, especially with the background picture from the movie.

Society
(originally by Jerry Hannan)

It’s a mystery to me
We have a greed with which we have agreed
And you think you have to want more than you need
Until you have it all, you won’t be free

Society, you’re a crazy breed
I hope you’re not lonely without me

When you want more than you have, you think you need
And when you think more than you want, your thoughts begin to bleed
I think I need to find a bigger place
Cause when you have more than you think, you need more space

Society, you’re a crazy breed
I hope you’re not lonely without me
Society, crazy indeed
Hope you’re not lonely without me

There’s those thinking more or less, less is more
But if less is more, how you keepin score?
Means for every point you make your level drops
Kinda like you’re startin’ from the top
And you can’t do that

Society, you’re a crazy breed
I hope you’re not lonely without me
Society, crazy indeed
I hope you’re not lonely without me
Society, have mercy on me
I hope you’re not angry if I disagree
Society, you’re crazy indeed
I hope you’re not lonely without me

Indeed…

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This entry was posted in Sources of Inspiration, Things that make you go hmmm... and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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