I don’t know why, but when I get tired, I get depressed. When I don’t take good care of myself, I get depressed.
I’ve been working some pretty strange hours this last week, working past 2:00 in the morning a couple of nights. I don’t why I always forget that that is going to be a problem. It’s like choices are either having a bunch of overdue stuff hanging over my head or run myself into the ground trying to get everything done. Neither is a great alternative, but since the latter tends to send me into a depressive funk, I think I really should start sticking with the former. And it’s not just sleep – I can’t remember the last time I cooked anything other than a microwave dinner, and I’ve been eating out almost all of the time (however I have been goo about avoiding fast food for the most part).
These things reinforce depression. So, I get depressed, and I do things that keep me depressed. I’m starting to think that I should look at depression as an indicator that I need to take better care of myself and slow down a bit, that I’m getting out of balance. Perhaps that will help to keep from getting caught up in it, will help to take it’s power away. We’ll see how it goes.
Anyway, I want to take better care of myself over the next couple of weeks so that I will visit Colorado in a better mood than I’ve been in recently. The first week of the Buddha challenge was great; the others have been difficult.
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In other things, I am planning on working on the van some today. The last times I’ve camped in it, I have slept on the floor instead of the bed platform. That made for better sleep and opened up a bunch of room for storage on the bed platform. I recently got the idea to take some of that space and make it a little more like a camper. I want to create a space to work on the computer, install a utility sink that I bought a while back but have never used while camping, and perhaps even a little kitchen space. I plan to do some camping during the week soon. I had a crazy idea that for long trips, like going out West for a month or two, my best bet might be to tow the car (perhaps with the trailer attached) behind the van. The van would function as a camper, I would have the car to run around in, and the trailer could bring gear (as well as the van). In addition, if the van exploded I would have the car as backup. For now at least, the van is easier for trips where I have to work (especially when it is this hot) because there is more room inside.
Have a good weekend all!