Damn…I didn’t know I could get more crazy, but apparently it is possible!

I gotta quit going to doctors…they keep telling me I’m more crazy than I knew Smile

For reals, I’m happy to learn more about myself, but I’m somewhat saddened to hear that I have more problems  than I knew.  Recently, I saw a PhD-level  psychologist for the first time.  Within five minutes, he had me taking the quiz for adult ADD/ADHD.  His conclusion?  I’m a “poster-child” (those are his words) for adult ADD/ADHD as well as a “gifted underachiever”.  Fucking serious?  So on top  of long-term depression (dysthymia), double depression (dysthymia + major depressive episode), general anxiety and social anxiety disorders, and not to mention low self-esteem, I got more shit to deal with?  Apparently yes.  But you know what, there are plenty of people in better condition and plenty of people in worse condition, which leaves me dealing with me.  I want to be the best me that I can, given all my shit.  Is there really anything more that we can do in life?  I so, I haven’t heard of it, and I’ve looked into it far more than most people.

But, it’s cool.  It’s better to know how fucked up you are than to live in unknown fucked-up-ed-ness.  Ignorance is not bliss if you want to progress.  Or at least, I tell myself that, based on my personality type.  Of course I researched it.  And there is a lot of overlap between INTP personalities, “giftedness”, and ADD/ADHD.  So it’s cool.  It’s more that I know about myself, and, hopefully, something else that I can work on.

You know what – I’m happy to be “me”, as fucked up as I am.  And everybody else should be happy to be themselves as well, as fucked up as they are.  From a genetic standpoint, we are all individuals (unless we have an identical twin).  And even with genetic twins, situational differences and choices lead to different people, expressed as differences in our brain wiring.  So, yes, we are all little individual goddamn glorious little snowflakes!  Praise be to us!

May we all celebrate our weirdness, our quirks, our intricacies.  If not for these, it would be a fucking boring world after all.

I love you all [yes, even you, president dumbass, even though I wish you weren’t such a fucking dumbass (why the fuck do you have to be such a fucking dumbass????), but you are an individual being, and you are entitled and worthy (no, not in the ways that you think those words mean) of being an individual being despite all of your very, very, very, very, very (ad infinitum ) fucking obvious flaws].

Metta to all.  May we gather our efforts to bring forth a better world for all beings!  It all starts with a little effort to be better individual and collective beings.  Let us accept the ageless challenge to improve upon ourselves and to rise above our lower selves to realize our highest potential selves.  I wish you all wisdom, fortitude, and sure, a little luck, on your journeys.  There’s nothing better than being alive, realizing that you’re alive, and realizing that you can effect your future…for the sake of the future universe, please try to make your future a good one!

Peace and loving-kindness,

–Keith

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